A pre-production phone call, for your amusement, and with a moral (an animal fable?):

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October 16, 2012 by theoldmanandthemountainlion

At 3:45 this afternoon, as producer Keely Richter was walking between the Starbucks where she’d made a little mobile office today and the mechanic who had been fixing her brake lights (see also holding her car hostage for 8 hours):

Phone Rings

Animal Control Officer (ACO): Hello, this is Pacific Grove Animal Control, returning your message.  I understand you have some questions.

Keely: Yes, it’s a question that I really hope you don’t get asked too often, as it is of an untraditional and gruesome manner.

ACO: oooook?

Keely: I understand that Pacific Grove is rather overrun with deer, yes?

ACO: Sure is.

Keely: OK, let me give you a little information about the reason for my question before I ask it, so you don’t think Im weird.

ACO: (nonplussed) OK.

Keely: I’m producing a short film in Big Sur and it requires a deer carcass.

ACO: A what?

Keely: A dead deer.

ACO: ok, yep.

Keely: and I guess I was wondering if that’s the kind of thing you take care of and if it would be okay for us to… retrieve one from you?

ACO: Don’t have one now, but I had one on Friday.

Keely: (who is, at this point, like screaming with joy that she’s not just asked a police officer a completely illegal and out of left field question) Well that’s okay!  We’re not shooting till the end of the month.

ACO: Well, I’ll definitely let you know when we get another one.  And check with CalTrans, they scrape them off the highway all the time.  There was just one at Soledad and Munras today.

Keely: GOSH, I’m so glad you were not startled by my question, and I absolutely will check with Cal Trans, thank you for that suggestion!

ACO: Yup, absolutely.  Like I said, had one on Friday.  Get ’em all the time.

Keely: Well thanks!  I guess I never thought I’d be calling around for a deer carcass, but this is just great.

No animals will be harmed in the making of this film.

Moral of the story: certainly doesn’t hurt to ask (even if what you’re asking for is a deer that has been hit by a car).


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